Feeling

I feel the pain inside,

but I know no way to set it free.

I hold the pain, anger, and fear within my body,

The sorrow wells up,

but I instinctively push it back down.

Burry it so far it will never surface.

Feeling nothing is better than this,

Better than the twist of the knife I feel in my chest.

Must I let it continue?

They say it’s healing,

To be vulnerable,

To Feel.

But all I can sense is pain.

Where is the growth I was promised?