A sample sermon on what “Biblical Womanhood” would have looked like for my family when I would have been 3-4 y/o. These were sermons notes recorded by my family during their missions training at New Tribes Bible Institute (now Ethnos 360). 1997-1998
The book is Me? Obey Him by Elizabeth Rice Handford – and it was also in my parents possession.
Titus 2
We were created for him (man).
- Women are to be Sober minded.
- Sane, temperate, discipled, self controlled, sensible
- Under control of your passions.
- Women are to be discreet
- Having, exercising, and using good judgement
- wise and faithful in all things
- 1 Timothy 3:11 In the same way, the women are to be worthy of respect, not malicious talkers but temperate and trustworthy in everything.
- Proverbs 11:22 A beautiful women with no self control or discretion is like a pig with a beautiful ring in his nose.
- Not to be – moody, angry uncontrolled tongue, whimsical, impulsive.
- Women are to love your husbands and children
- Love our husbands with our actions not because they deserve our love or because they are great, but because we choose to love them. Why? Because we love God and want to obey his commandments.
- Why may we not want to obey god and love our husbands?
- Because of our lack of love for god.
- Proverbs 31:12
- Bring him good not harm all the days of her life.
- Do him only good. (your husband)
- Good = pleasant, beautiful, excellent, lovely, delightful, convenient for him, fruitful, precious, joyful, sound, cheerful, kind, correct, righteous, virtuous, good, pleasant, happiness, practical to him, economically beneficial to him, wisdom, pleasing to the eye (house, kids, me), sensual, preference, moral goodness.
- Bring him good not harm all the days of her life.
- Proverbs 30:21
- The earth cannot bear
- Odious women = unloving, negative
- The earth cannot bear
- Women are to be chaste
- Chaste = Pure in style, nothing obscene, no unlawful sex
- 1 Peter 3:2
- Wives be submissive to husbands
- Adornment is necessary if it pleases your husband, however your security should not be in our appearance
- Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
- 1 Timothy 2: 9-10 I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.
- Women are to adorn themselves with godly fear rather than outward appearances.
- Adorn – to put in order, arrange and make ready
- In opposition to chaos (messy)
- Her clothing must be fitting to and consistent with what she is – as a child of god.
- Modest – Arranged seemly and descent
- Women are to be Good
- Women are to be Obedient to own husbands.
- Be a responder to husband
- Freedom and protection under divinely appointed authority
- Women are to be Keepers of Home
- Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.
- 1 Timothy 5:14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
- Women are to rule the house, managers of the home
- Do we expect husband to help out around the house? Wrong attitude! We (women) are responsible
- Husband has other ministry and responsibilities.
- Titus 2:5 To be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.
- Proverbs 31:27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.
- The woman watches over the affairs of the household
- Colossians 3:23
- In everything give thanks.
- Family
- How do we dress for husbands?
- Appearance of neatness.
- Ask him what do you like?
- Keep kids clean –
- wipe faces / clean clothes
- Build clean character and teach your boys to be boys and your girls to be girls.
- How do we dress for husbands?
This is the end of that particular sermon, but below I’ll place other small tidbits found in other sermons.
- Submission
- When is it difficult to submit?
- When I feel misunderstood, unloved or unaccepted
- When I don’t know feeling I have any say in my future, or in plans that include my life.
- Submission is no problem when you agree on things
- Why is is hard to submit?
- Independence – you may have an independent spirit and want to do your own thing.
- Fear
- Failure to see that it is a matter of choice
- Submission is a voluntary act of the will.
- The wife’s submission is not natural, but it’s a results of the curse of eden (on women)
- Headship
- The head of every man is christ. And over the women is the man.
- 1 Corinthians 11:3 But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God
- Man was created for the image and glory of god
- Woman was created for the glory of the man
- Woman was created for the man
- The head of every man is christ. And over the women is the man.
- Ephesians 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
- Our marriages are a living example of Christ and the church.
- Just because a women submits herself to her husband it doesn’t mean she is inferior to him
- As an example – Jesus was not inferior to god but equal to him.
- When is it difficult to submit?
Me Obey Him by Elizabeth Rice Handford (Daughter of the infamous John R. Rice)
- Why Did God Command a Wife to Obey Her Husband?
- “The Command uttered that day to the stricken wife still stands: ‘Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.’ There are three major reasons for the command. And because the why of the command makes the what of the command more bearable, let’s think first about why God requires a wife to obey her husband. (Make it bearable? There! It slipped out! Alas, fellow-women, I confess that obedience, even to a good husband, isn’t easy, and sometimes it’s nearly intolerable! That much I admit)”
- God’s perfect creation required order
- “There is an order of authority in the universe, and it is set up like this God -> Christ -> Man -> Woman.”
- Roles in the house
- “God made the man to be the achiever, the doer, to provide for the home and protect it, to be high priest and intercessor for the home. His body carries the seed of life, and he is responsible for the children that will be born to guide them, nurture them, direct them.”
- “God made the woman to be keeper of the home, to make a haven within its walls, a retreat from the stress of battle, the nourisher of the children. A woman’s body is fashioned primarily for being a wife and mother. (why, oh why should a feminist think that’s degrading?) Her body is shaped for the bearing of children, and never a month goes by but what she is reminded of the basic, creative function of motherhood.”
- “A woman can choose nearly any occupation she likes. But I deny that she will find fulfillment that will surpass that which a godly Christian woman finds who, secure in the knowledge of her womanhood and its rightness, builds a home for her husband and children! Her confidence in her ability to be a helpmeet, sufficient for her husband’s needs, comes as eh finds her place in the order of authority.”
- “Women are more often led into spiritual error than men. Perhaps it is caused by her intuitive, emotional thinking.”
- “Just as Adam’s body was broken to given life to Eve, so in a mystic, miraculous way, God makes the husband the savior of this wife’s body.”
- “If God tells a woman to obey, then He preforms whatever miracle is necessary to make her able to obey.”
- “You can find many ways to make your husband feel he is the most important human being in your life. (And it’s right for him to feel that. God does not suffer when you love your husband with your whole hear. Loving the Lord wholeheartedly should help you to love your husband more.)”
- “But I loved the lord and I want to serve him! Good! Then do what He commanded. Servants don’t choose what they are to do. They do what they are told (Luke 17:10). The best service you can ever do for God is to have a Christian home. So obey your husband. Let that home be a source of blessing to the whole world.”
- “I am aware of the feelings of revulsion a woman may have toward her husband. They may be caused by poor teaching from childhood. They may be caused by a shattering incident in adolescence. The husband himself may not have been tender enough. But many a woman, who thought she could never love the man she was bound to, has discovered that when she obeyed him, she learned to love him.”
- “If a woman has thwarted her husband’s will during the day and jockeyed for advantage, she will not find he feels especially tender and loving at night. Mutual physical need may drive a couple through the motions of love. But she will feel frustrated and misused, a “sex object” rather than a wife. And he will wonder, in shame, what makes the whole business seem so sordid and tasteless.”
I hope you could see how these things could make for a toxic relationship. I won’t air my family’s dirty laundry, but I will say that these teachings have lead both my mother and father to suffer for many years. My father leads on in emotionless silence; while my mother does her best to fulfill her own emotional needs without him. They stay married but only because it is sinful to divorce (in their eyes).
I hope others have not been through these teachings. However, I know there are many people still receiving “sermons” like the one my mom recorded. And I’ve experienced it myself both in and out of the home.
The college me and my wife attended (Pensacola Christian College) furthered these teachings. See my purity culture post and my post on PCC for more. Suffice to say me and my wife have dealt with the consequences of these teachings for the majority of our lives.
Me and “her” have only been able to find peace in our own marriage after we left these ideas behind. There is no joy or comfort in a marriage centered around “biblical marriage.” And I encourage those still trapped in these teachings to leave them behind and create something new.
Freedom From Fundamentalism 