Freedom From Fundamentalism

A blog about finding my way out of Christian fundamentalism.

Set Up for Failure (The Gospel Hall Part 3)

After college we quickly moved from an independent baptist church1 to a separate conservative religious movement – the gospel hall assemblies. I’ve since learned this is an offshoot of the Plymouth brethren2 (John Nelson Darby and George Muller were famous members). We were desperate for friendship and community and needed a place to belong in, or at least a church community that my parents currently weren’t attending. Some of my childhood friends were currently attending a local gospel hall at the time and encouraged us to check it out.

It was a similar situation as PCC. They were strict but claimed to have biblical answers for their conservative views. And their community did show a true sense of communal sharing that was completely foreign to me at the time; opening their homes to other church members in need or just if they needed a place to stay while they were in the area.3 We attended a gospel hall conference and listened to a few dry old men and a couple very moderate leaning driven speakers.4 One of these speakers really had a passion for education regarding mental health and that really captured my attention. He also spoke about sexual abuse and how the gospel hall movement could work to combat it in their communities.

I think one of the reasons why this (cult) religious group didn’t raise red flags was that at least two of the religious homeschool families I grew up with attended gospel halls. Also my parents would let my sister attend their conferences with her childhood friend; with my mom and sister attending the same friend’s baptism at this faith community. Remarking on the gospel hall’s differing takes on music, but how it was a beautiful sound to behold. Religious authority in my life vaguely pointed towards them as a safe (but a little strict) religious group.5

http://By CJ Sluiter – Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=81113293 (Teachings on revelation and end times were common at the gospel hall conferences. And end times charts this this one lined the walls of the gospel hall we attended.)

To make a long story short, we quickly learned that if we ever wanted to find a place in this community we would need to vow to commit to and believe the community’s doctrine and beliefs. Without this stated commitment we would never be allowed to participate in communion, teach children’s church, or even really participate in Sunday school.

Everything in this community was reserved for male members of the community. With women within the community expected to wear head coverings in the church as a symbol of their subservience beneath god and their husbands. A view that some of the members of the Baptist church I grew up in had also expressed.

http://www.corkgospelhall.org/headcovering_34.html

1 Timothy 2:11-12 “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.”

They also hold a very literal view of 1st Timothy 2: 11-12. And actively enforce it in their churches. Women are allowed to sing and possibly teach Sunday school to children but nothing further. During congregation wide communion (which encouraged pop up style involvement sharing of prayer, scripture, song, or testimonial around the sacrament) men were encouraged to participate but women were to remain silent. Adult Sunday school was similar and involved the reading of scripture. Individuals would then share their personal interpretation or understating from the scripture passage; but women were unable to participate. Members of the church take turns giving Sunday teachings or sermons, but once again female members are not welcome to teach.

All of these sexist teachings were gently supported and taught throughout my life. By PCC – see the article I wrote about purity culture and how PCC taught around that subject. By my parents – they taught this to me as a child, and they had been instructed in the same way at New Tribes Bible Institute (Now Ethnos 360) and their church on gender roles in the church and home. (The link in this text will take you to a post centered around “biblical Womanhood” and a sermon on the topic that my mom recorded during her time at college.) And by my friends – my closest childhood friend grew up in an environment where his mom and grandma wore head coverings.6

We really tried to fit in and find a place in this community. But over the course of a it became evident that we were never going to be welcome if we weren’t willing to fit into the doctrine completely. We were always going to be treated as second class to the long term fully committed and vetted “fellowshipping” members of the gospel hall. And while, yes, were never harmed as much as our time at PCC it was still a dive back into harmful theology for both of us. I was hearing messages on man’s roles in the home (spiritual leadership of course), and my partner was getting a lot of messaging around how she needed to stay submissive to me and to the church. Symbols of submission to male leadership were in place any time we were in a place of worship – head coverings and the complete silence of women.

Assembly Distinctives
by Mackay, Harold

We were also struggling with how the gospel hall treated kids. We tried hard to keep our daughter still and quite during the service and Sunday school. But our daughter has ADHD and getting her to sit still for 2hrs was almost impossible. Children were encouraged to attend and listen silently throughout the service. This was done by omittance (there was no Sunday school breakout for kids), or at conferences by speakers that would very loudly shame children for being absent or inattentive. Children being forced to sit still for multiple hours for a message that goes way over their head is not productive in any way. And normally ends with the parents being shamed for not raising submissive and obedience children, and the children being scolded or disciplined until they comply and sit obediently.

Despite Hillside Gospel Hall‘s7 theology around not being led by a pastor but by many godly men in the congregation it was very clear that there was only room for one voice of leadership in the gospel hall. One of the elder’s dominated over any discussion around theology or scripture and would shut down anyone that disagreed with them. This elder also was the individual that ran Sunday school and chose who would be speaking each Sunday. To seek out “fellowship”8 or inclusion in worship at Hillside would require the approval of this one individual.

My partner pointed out that I excluded their views on music and worship, so I’ve gone back and added this in. Hymns and songs were only pulled from the Believers Hymn Book. And all hymns were to be sung acapella no musical accompaniment would be allowed. Many of the traditional hymns used in other denominations are excluded from their hymn books. There was also not a singular person leading or conducting the congregation. Men would stand up and suggest which hymns should be sung before the start of a sermon with everyone joining in slowly as the congregation found a rhythm. This also was very clearly not a women’s role. With it being very iffy, if women speak up and suggest the hymns that the congregation would sing. It was clear that women could suggest children’s songs during a designated children’s song time portion of the service, but after the children were done social pressure seemed to suggest that women were not welcome to suggest which hymns should be sung.

This was the style used for all worship / song in the gospel hall we attended.


Overall, it was a very unhealthy environment and I’m glad we found our way out of it. Both me and my wife were struggling as we exited college, and this wasn’t something that should have ever belonged in our lives. My wife had multiple panic attacks while at some of the gospel hall conferences and that alone should have been the end of our time there (listen to your body folks). A faith community should be a place that everyone feels safe and included in, and not an institution devoted to keep women silent and submissive.

I’m trying to tie together these three posts about my life and how authoritarian teaching influenced my point of view and my actions around the start of my adult life. And I hope that my theme was clear throughout my series. This theme was that my upbringing supported and encouraged me to trust unhealthy authoritarian communities. This happened due to both internalized theology and from endorsement of these communities by influential (to me) faith leaders and family. And these authoritarian communities caused a lot harm to me and to my relationships with others. Thank you for following me on this journey.

  1. This was the church my family attended in my teen years, and my family still attends to this day. If you need some idea of what the leadership of that institution looks like see my two posts discussing him. My letter regarding his public position on book banning and my discussion about the border and politics with him and his wife. I think me and *redacted* both just needed some space from my family and that particular church. ↩︎
  2. https://diaryofabrethrenboy.wordpress.com/ (Blog of a gay ex-brethren church member from New Zeeland if you want to read more about Plymouth brethren churches). ↩︎
  3. Looking back now this was very exclusionary and was something that was offered to church members. I can’t recall anyone offering housing to someone that was outside of their faith community. ↩︎
  4. We quickly learned this was very much an abnormality, and this style of well-rounded moderate speakers were not in the majority. I never heard a speaker from the gospel hall movement again speak on mental health issues or sexual abuse in the church after this conference. ↩︎
  5. I’ve also learned that my parents wanted to attend a gospel hall while they were in missionary training in Canada. But they were assigned to work with a different church denomination. They also had close relationships with several members of the gospel hall while they were in missionary training. ↩︎
  6. He actually ended up marrying a girl he met while attending a gospel hall conference in Iowa. ↩︎
  7. I’m feeling very much in the mood to name harmful organizations by name. I know it wasn’t named throughout the post. But I would feel like something is amiss if I didn’t add it somewhere. ↩︎
  8. The gospel hall shies away from using the words – member and church as descriptors. ↩︎

N.J. McConnachie

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6 responses to “Set Up for Failure (The Gospel Hall Part 3)”

  1. Evelyn Avatar
    Evelyn

    I feel the need to clarify that Hillside may identify as a “Gospel
    Hall” it just a facade. In reality it is being run behind the scenes by a woman, which disqualifies it as such. It should also be noted that Hillside barely exists anymore, which is partly my fault as I dared to question the “status quo” but that’s another story. Much of how Hillside operated was out of the norm but unless you grew up in the Assemblies (or Gospel Halls) you wouldn’t know. While nothing stated here is overly inaccurate it should be noted that due to the structure of that particular brand of church what you experienced was an “outsiders” perspective. The exclusive nature of those churches is not a positive when trying to interact with the local community or even with friends/family.

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    1. N.J. McConnachie Avatar
      N.J. McConnachie

      I certainly wouldn’t try to argue that I know all about the Plymouth brethren or the “Assemblies / Gospel Halls. I know you grew up within the assemblies and would have more experience that way. Also, (from my perspective) it was very hard to participate or to learn more about the organization unless you were fully committed or had grown up within the gospel hall movement. Members would be happy to explain the rules (and their logic behind them) needed to participate, but overall structure and leadership was difficult to grasp unless you were an insider.

      I do have to ask. How was a woman in charge within Hillside Gospel Hall? Women were not even allowed to speak within the building. This even included breaking of bread, sunday school, and main worship / services. The only woman I can see with any type of authority would have to be Mary and that would have primarily been due to her proximity to her husband Paul. If she had influence it was certainly behind the scenes and not easily visible.

      Also, why wouldn’t you include Hillside as part of the Gospel Hall movement? They certainly claimed to be a part of the movement. They participated and encouraged assembly with local and regional Gospel Hall conferences.

      What about the Deckerville Gospel Hall? Would they not also qualify as a “Gospel Hall” or “assembly?” I know they have since shut down. But these institutions both claimed to be a part of the greater gospel hall movement.

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      1. Evelyn Avatar
        Evelyn

        Get yourself a chair because the tea is hot!

        The papers that were distributed during “Bible study” were written completely by Mary. From what I can tell the minute Paul pulled them out of his bible bag was the first time he saw them, it certainly was the first time the other elders saw it. As mentioned I grew up in the assemblies and the papers themselves were highly unusual. The only time I’ve seen something similar was at a bible study conference but those were chapter outlines written by the man who was leading study on the chapter, and not followed word for word they were strictly an outline of basic ideas to keep things moving. I decided to start asking questions to find out what was going on and that ruffled some feathers. It didn’t take much to figure out I wasn’t talking to only Paul but also Mary, the difference in texting language was drastic. One of several last straws was when my husband, who requires lots of encouragement to preach, dared to suggest Jesus was nailed through the wrists not palm of the hand. Mary was seen writing notes during his sermon, very angrily, and the next Sunday’s “bible study” was entirely on why he was wrong. As you mentioned women are not allowed to participate so the fact that Mary was leading the assembly and also that this was being done in secret without the knowledge of the other members disqualifies Hillside as a gospel hall, in my book anyway. The excuse given for why this was allowed is “She’s being my helpmate”.
        We had been becoming more and more uneasy about the “bible study” and the papers against what my husband said were the final push we needed to get out, we were advised to do so by elders of another assembly we know, and started attending Deckerville Gospel hall.

        Deckerville gospel hall was great…..for a bit until a girl decided dating not one but two of my brothers-in-law at the same time, and potentially other boys as well, as a great idea. None of these were members at the time but it quickly became an assembly issue between the two elders. However after the arguments became less about the current events and more about fights older than me we withdrew our membership with the Deckerville assembly.

        The decisions we made to leave both Hillside and Deckerville assemblies were quite difficult for me to make. I grew up in the assemblies and from my earliest memory I can remember wanting to be a part of it. Now that we are no longer members I can no longer go back to the assembly I grew up in and participate. Something that meant so much to me has been taken away by men who were unable to let go of a grudge and a women who lead from the shadows.

        Hopefully this answers some of your questions.

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      2. N.J. McConnachie Avatar
        N.J. McConnachie

        So any influence by a woman even in non-public ways was enough to exclude Hillside from being a Gospel Hall? What you are describing was writing of Sunday school materials. From my memory it was Paul that led the morning sunday school and Mary never spoke. Was even her minor influence of writing the outline was enough to sow discord and disqualify Paul from being an elder? (I may be using the wrong term for his leadership role. It’s been a while.)

        While I may not be a person of faith any further, I can still understand how loss of your faith community can be devastating. I wish both you and Matt all the best as you find a new place of worship. (If you haven’t already found one. It’s been a while since we’ve spoke in person).

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      3. Evelyn Avatar
        Evelyn

        Women are not allowed to lead services or preach in the Gospel Halls. In my opinion since the Sunday school papers were written entirely by Mary and read word for word that she was indirectly leading the service. So no I don’t feel like Hillside should qualify as a Gospel Hall because of her participation in that manner. What was more worrisome to me was that her influence was done in secret. Until I started asking questions about it nobody else had considered the use of the papers as being abnormal, majority of those who attended didn’t grow up in that system as I did. As time went on it became more and more clear that it was Mary who was really in the leadership role Paul was just there to make it appear acceptable. One sign that they knew what they did was wrong was when visitors would come there would be an unplanned gospel or ministry meeting and the Sunday School papers were nowhere to be seen.

        I didn’t intend on causing trouble with Hillside I just wanted to know why things were being done so differently. The original intent of the Sunday School papers was to teach the new members about gospel hall principles but it had been going on for years and the original point no longer applied. The young men needed a place where they could practice preaching and ministry. A place to discuss the Bible and it’s applications amongst themselves not just sit and read an essay written entirely by Mary. I’d felt for a while by this point, even before I married and left my home assembly, that the Gospel Halls lacked when it came to giving young men space to grow into their roles. Very few young men will preach, minister, or give out hymns and I feel that is due to how intimating it can be. I feel it is the older men’s duty to help shepherd and guide but there seems to be an unwillingness to do so. I’ve noticed a significant number of people our age and younger who grew up in the assemblies are leaving and attending other churches or never joined at all.

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      4. N.J. McConnachie Avatar
        N.J. McConnachie

        I certainly don’t remember learning about the gospel hall principles or doctrine during the Sunday school hour. In person discussion (outside of the assembly building) was where I heard more about gospel hall doctrine. Discussion with you, Josiah, and Holly and Andy were where I learned more about the principles that guided the gospel halls. Head coverings, no singular pastoral leadership, and women remaining silent during assembly. Sunday school seemed to be very typical (other than the pop up style participation in the readings) with discussion moving by topic or by book of the bible. This was very similar to my experience in Baptist churches growing up. (Like I said earlier minus the pop up interaction / round table discussion).

        From an outside perspective, I can see how the gospel halls would struggle to retain younger members. Pressure to take leadership roles and preach (male members) and complete submission and silence (female members) are both very hard positions to place young members in. Also the exclusionary nature of the assemblies makes it hard to participate or understand the structure of the organization. Personally I felt a lot of pressure by the way “breaking of bread” was laid out. And had no desire to watch others participate in communion (weekly) while being exiled to the back of the room while those in fellowship with the assembly circled in the front of the room. I know you also grew up in the gospel hall, but you do have to admit that they take a very hard stance on male leadership and female submission in the assembly. Head coverings and complete silence / submission of women is a very strong stance to take even within Christian fundamentalism. Women like Ashley (a college educated individual) are completely left out of teaching in any meaningful way. My wife as well has a minor in bible and has studied fairly extensively as well. There is no room in the assembly for any teaching or participation in teaching (speaking during the Sunday school round table) even while that same privilege is offered to any man within the assembly (who is in fellowship) regardless of their education or training.

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